When you’re going into management, it’s important to commit yourself to being a good manager. People who are good at managing have easier shifts, get more things done and they can do it all with the support of their employees.

My advice to you: Think back to one of your favorite bosses (I’m talking about the one that was your favorite because it was always nice working with them, not the one you loved because they didn’t enforce the rules), and think about everything that made them great to work with. I can promise you that all great managers have these things in common:

They Don’t Let Outside Factors Influence Their Performance at Work

Everyone has a hard day. Everyone has days where they come into work in a bad mood. That’s okay. When this happens, get to work five minutes early. Sit in your car and try to clear your head. If that doesn’t work, give yourself an hour on the clock. If the mood doesn’t go away, the best thing to do is to let your coworkers know that you’ve had a rough day and that your actions might display that. This makes it easier to sympathize.

Keep in mind that your attitude is going to affect the quality of the shift or project for everyone else, not just you.

They’re a Leader, Not a Boss

A leader is someone who shows the employees that they’re able to do the work by helping out when they’re needed. A boss is someone who sits behind a desk and yells orders. People tend to respect the manager who’s willing to help with the dirty work more than one who thinks that ‘they’re above it’.

When managing, it’s best to always take on a ‘do as I do, not as I say’ type of mentality because when it comes down to it, your employees are going to mimic you.

They Respect Their employees

It’s a two-way street. Employees seek respect in the forms of having their availability honored, being given the time off that they need (i.e. not being called in on their only day off), and being recognized for great work. It also means understanding when an employee has a bad day and isn’t performing like they usually do.

If they see these things, they’re more likely to respect you when you take some time off or when you have a bad day.

Tip: A really easy way to show respect is to acknowledge your coworkers when they arrive and when they leave. A simple “Hey! Welcome to work,” or “Have a great night, I’ll see you tomorrow,” can mean a lot to an employee.

They Don’t Mix up Being a Manager and Being a Friend.

It’s important to be friendly, but it’s hard to be friends with the people your managing. You have to hold everyone the same standards or it’ll seem like your picking favorites. If your friends with your employees, they’re already one of your favorites and you’re more likely to be biased towards them.

It can mean a lot to a coworker if you take an interest in their personal lives and can ask them about it when you see them next, but you can do that without being a friend.

They’re Understanding

It’s important for employees to know that if life gets in their way, you’ll be cool about it. This means not demanding someone to be at work even though they’re sick, letting someone take the day off because their dog died, or forgiving someone who has a perfect attendance record for being late one time.

It’s important to be understanding, but don’t be a pushover.

If someone needs a day off for a reason that’s not a sudden illness or family emergency, make it clear that they need to give you x amount of notice or that they need to find someone to cover their shift. If the person is always late, it’s okay to put your foot down and tell them that they need to start showing up on time.

They Can Make a Solid Decision.

Decision-making skills are crucial for managers. You have to be able to make decisions on the fly and be sure that it’s the right one. This is something that most managers seem to struggle with (including myself), and it can lead to a lot of confusion when you’re working.

When you make a decision, stick to it until you realize that it’s not working, then be venerable enough to admit that you were wrong and try again.

Tip: If you’re bad at making decisions on the fly, try to plan out what you’d do if everything goes correctly before the day starts. Then make a plan B because nothing really ever goes right. A plan C isn’t a bad idea either.

They Can Admit When They’re Wrong and Take Advice from Their Employees

When I first started my managing job at a new Starbucks, my coworkers would show appreciation towards my ability to bring in new ideas, but also work with how they’ve run shifts in the past.

Because I respected their routines and took their advice on the easiest way to run a shift at the store, I was able to fall right into a new crowd of people and be respected for my management. However, I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I believed that my way was the only right way.

Another thing to remember is that as a manager, you specialize in managing and running things. This often leads to gaps in your knowledge of how things can work on an employee’s level. When you’re called to cover for one, let them coach you on how to do it. It’ll make everyone’s lives a lot easier and bring up their level of respect.

Being a manager is less about leading with an iron fist and more about creating a culture of understanding and consistent expectations. This leads to an environment where everyone knows what’s going on and what to expect.

Somehow, despite all of my anxiety, I’ve always been good at confronting people. However, I’ve never really needed to confront someone until I was promoted. This is when I realized that other people aren’t as comfortable with confrontation. Often times, a barista would come to me and ask me to talk with someone else about something that I’d have no problem bringing up as a barista.

So, how do you confront someone without causing them to be upset?

Take on a Neutral Tone

Wait to approach someone until you’re not angry about the problem anymore. If you try to talk to someone when you’re upset, you’re going to say something that will either hurt the other person or cause a fight.

Think about the problem, the best way to communicate that it’s a problem, and then the solution. Put yourself in that person’s shoes. Would you be more inclined to fix a behavior if someone asked you politely or yelled at you?

Validate the Issue and Explain Why It’s a Problem

When you fail to validate someone’s mistakes, you’re implying that their mistake is stupid or that they can’t make mistakes to learn. Validation makes it seem like the issue is reasonable and explaining why it’s a problem helps them to avoid making a similar mistake in the future.

It’s a lot easier (and meaningful) to hear “Hey, please don’t put the ice bin on the ground. I understand that there isn’t a ton of space on the counter, but it can spread bacteria.” Then “Don’t put the ice bin on the floor.” Not only that but from the former helps them to realize that the floor=bacteria and nothing should be set on the floor.

Provide a Solution

Without a solution, it might be hard for the person to understand how to fix the problem. Telling someone who’s new what the issue is, but not how to solve it will lead to uncertainty and unwillingness to do a task in the future.

The best way to confront someone is clearly and in a way that makes sense. Try to answer all of the questions an employee might have before they get a chance to speak. Going back to the ice bin example:

“Please don’t set the ice bin on the floor.”

“Why?”

“Because it spreads bacteria.”

“Where else should I put it?”

“Clear off some space and put it on the counter.”

Obviously, it’s common sense to set it on the counter instead, but you get the gist.

Some More Tips for Confrontation:

Say “Try this,” or “Next time,”

Not only should your tone be neutral, but so should the language that you use. It’s easier to hear “Try doing it this way,” (a neutral response) than “You need to do it this way” (an almost aggressive response). It also suggests that the person can change the solution, so long as the problem doesn’t arise again.

Saying things like “next time” implies that their mistake won’t matter for very long and that they’d get a chance to fix it in the future because you see their potential.

Avoid Using the Word “You”

“You” is a very accusatory word.  Take the sentence: “You can’t just tell a customer that you don’t have something. You also have to say sorry and offer an alternative.” Now, replace the “Yous” with “We”.

From an employee’s standpoint, it makes them feel less singled out, and it brings you (presumably a manager), down to their level. It implies that you don’t think that they’re beneath you.

To an employee who’s new or struggling, your choice of words could be the difference between a shift full of anxiety or a shift of growth. Feedback is crucial for people to develop in their skills, but first, you have to confront them about it.

Too many times have people told me that I was “high-strung” and needed to let “it” go. I couldn’t count how many times someone told me that my life would be so much easier if I’d just forget about it and move on.

The fact is, I put too much weight into the things that I’m doing.

I used to go hard with my grades. It was an A or I might as well be failing. I had to be able to present my work to The President of The United States or I might as well not have done it at all. Obviously, this kind of perfectionism isn’t conducive to everyday life, nor is it healthy.

After a solid year of struggling to keep my grades up and work part-time, I became chronically anxious and depressed. Nothing was being completed to my standards, and my work ethic was wavering.

After a while, I realized that I needed to let it go. But how?

Everything in Moderation

First, you need to balance everything. If you have any sort of expectation, you need to give yourself time to meet it. Period, the end.

Put too much effort into school, and you won’t have time for your social life or your health. Too much time into your job and school suffers. Put equal time into both, but don’t give yourself enough time to focus on meeting expectation for either and, well, your mental health is going to take a dive into the deep end.

Leave yourself enough time to actually sleep. To shower occasionally or shave your unibrow. Otherwise, these are just a few more expectations to stress about not being able to do because of time.  Expectations are hard. Take time to meet them.

Recognize What Your Time is Worth

But don’t get cocky about it. Some people feel obligated to take on their bosses role after they leave.

Don’t.

If you’re looking to be promoted to that position, go for it, but make it clear that that’s what you want. Otherwise, it’s fine to help out occasionally, but if you take on their job, plus yours, you’ll just stress yourself out. Then, when they hire somebody to fill the position, you probably won’t be recognized for your work, either.

It’s okay to say no to other people’s things to balance your own.

Don’t be so Hard on Yourself

You are human. No one expects perfection from you, just competence. In an environment with teams, let yourself be really good at one or two things so you can complement your team members’ abilities. Their strengths will complement you in turn

If something goes awry, don’t berate yourself. You can be stressed, but you need to learn how to take a giant mistake as a learning experience, rather than a reason to hate yourself. Figure out the flaw, take the steps to fix it, then follow through and make sure it stays fixed.

Leave yourself enough time to actually sleep. To shower occasionally or shave your unibrow. Otherwise, these are just a few more expectations to stress about not being able to do because of time.  Expectations are hard. Take time to meet them.

Recognize What Your Time is Worth

But don’t get cocky about it. Too many people take on the role of someone in the position above them because they feel obligated to.

Don’t.

If you’re looking to be promoted to that position, go for it, but make it clear that that’s what you want. Otherwise, it’s fine to help out occasionally, but if you take on their job, plus yours, you’ll just stress yourself out. Then, when they hire somebody to fill in the spot, you probably won’t be recognized for your work, either.

It’s okay to say no to other people’s things to balance your own.

Don’t be so Hard on Yourself

You are human. No one expects perfection from you, just that you’re competent. In an environment with teams, let yourself be really good at one thing so you can fill in the weaknesses of your team. Their strengths will fill in your weaknesses in turn.  

If something goes awry, don’t berate yourself. You can be stressed, but you need to learn how to take a giant mistake as a learning experience, rather than a reason to hate yourself. Figure out the flaw, take the steps to fix it, then follow through and make sure it stays fixed.

Ask for Help

It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes, the weight of everything becomes overwhelming, and it feels like it might crush you. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re human, remember? We evolved as social creatures. It’s literally in our genes to rely on our community for help.

If it’s money, swallow your pride and ask your parents for help with gas for a month, or your lowest utility bill. Boom, $40+ more that you have to work with.

Work? Ask for a day off or to get a shift covered. Take an extra day to take care of yourself. I promise that your boss would want you to take a day off then come back as a competent employee rather than you just show but just to be there. Or, ask a coworker if they have an hour to spare to help you organize things.

Ask for Help

It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes, the weight of everything becomes overwhelming, and it feels like it might crush you. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re human, remember? We evolved as social creatures. It’s literally in our genes to rely on our community for help.

If it’s money, swallow your pride and ask your parents for help with gas for a month, or your lowest utility bill. Boom, $40+ more that you have to work with.

Work? Ask for a day off or to get a shift covered. Take an extra day to take care of yourself. I promise that your boss would want you to take a day off then come back as a competent employee rather than one that shows up just to be there  Or, ask a coworker if they have an hour to spare to help you organize things.

Work? Ask for a day off or to get a shift covered. Take an extra day to take care of yourself. I promise that your boss would want you to take a day off then come back as a competent employee rather than you just show but just to be there. Or, ask a coworker if they have an hour to spare to help you organize things.

Is it school? This can be hard, but sometimes you just need to drop a class. Free up some of your time to do homework, to catch up on some material, to breathe. School is hard. Don’t overburden yourself.

Is it school? This can be hard, but sometimes you just need to drop a class. Free up some of your time to do homework, to catch up on some material, to breathe. School is hard. Don’t overburden yourself.

Mental illness? You don’t even have to leave your house anymore. A quick Google search will bring up several websites for online therapists, or if you can’t afford one, try reaching out to someone who has a similar issue. Online support groups exist for that reason.

All in all, learning to let “it” go takes time and a serious mental reset. You have to train yourself to realize what’s worth stressing over and what’s not. That’s up to you, but once you’ve figured it out, everything will get a lot easier.

Is it school? This can be hard, but sometimes you just need to drop a class. Free up some of your time to do homework, to catch up on some material, to breathe. School is hard. Don’t overburden yourself.

Mental illness? You don’t even have to leave your house anymore. A quick Google search will bring up several websites for online therapists, or if you can’t afford one, try reaching out to someone who has a similar issue. Online supports groups exist for that reason.

All in all, learning to let “it” go takes time and a serious mental reset. You have to train yourself to realize what’s worth stressing over and what’s not. That’s up to you, but once you’ve figured it out, everything will get a lot easier.

Prep Time: 5 minutes      Cook time: 10 minutes       Serving size: 1 serving

You’ll need:

How to do it:

1. In a small bowl, crack open the three eggs, add baking soda, salt and pepper. Use a fork or a whisk to beat together. Continue to beat for about three minutes, are until the top is covered with bubbles.
2. Apply cooking spray to your pan, then add the egg mixture on a medium pan on medium heat.
3. Immediately add the cream cheese squares equal distances apart on one half of the omelet.
4. Sprinkle on cheese, green onions and bell peppers onto the same half of the omelet.
5. Let it cook until the egg in the middle isn’t jiggly anymore, then fold, bringing the half without veggies down on the half with the veggies.
6. After cooking on one side for thirty seconds, flip to other side for thirty more, to ensure that everything has been cooked all the way
7. Remove omelet from skillet and serve.

There’s no better way to start your day than with a smart, healthy and easy-to-make meal. These omelets are deliciously fluffy, fresh and creamy. A healthy breakfast that’s sure to delight the whole family!